JESUS CHRIST VAMPIRE HUNTER (2001)

This cheesy, Canadian detective flick is filled with vampires, atheists, corpses, blood and even a Mexican wrestler. If that wasn't convincing enough, there is also talking ice cream, lesbian vampires, Jesus playing the drums, and Jesus singing.

Jesus decides to crack down on vampires after they kill two priests right in front of him. His first decisive act is to get a haircut. Jesus then sings trying to convince people around the city to help him fight vampires. He eventually gets a hot sidekick to help him. They eventually find out that vampires are killing lesbians to take their skin so that they can walk in the light. Jesus later teams up with a wrestler, the Saint of the ring, at the urging of God talking through a bowl of cherry ice cream. Jesus goes on to fight vampires in a bar and ultimately has a showdown in a junkyard.

This movie starts out very slowly and feels as if it is a detective movie from the seventies. Near the beginning there is song and dance number. This is a very funny scene and if you enjoy it then you will love the rest of the movie. Jesus fights a lot in this movie, HE fights atheists and He fights vampires. The fighting is the funniest and worst thing about this movie. Its too bad that most of the fighting is very unconvincing and there are a lot of punches that don't even connect. They don't even look like they connect. The fighting does get better towards the end. Most of the fighting is there for humor, especially towards the end. The only disappointment, other than the fighting, is that Jesus gets a haircut after the first fight. He has short hair and pierced ears and is unrecognizable as Jesus.
The most notable scene in the movie is in a bar where Jesus sings. while singing he notices he can only see two people, out of a crowded bar, in the mirror. Jesus then goes on to the drums. Jesus while on drums throws a drumstick, stabbing and killing a vampire. Jesus goes on to use almost everything in the bar to slay vampires. He even uses darts, crutches, pool cues, plunger and his own garlic breath. Jesus even goes so far as to get a man on the toilet in on the slaying. The Saint follows his lead using tables, chairs, and toothpicks to dispatch the vampires.
There is a transition that appears multiple times in the movie. It reminds me of the old batman show transition. In this one there is a crucifix and a spiral behind it while you hear someone singing "JESUS". That transition is one of my favorite things in this movie. There isn't very much blood at first but that amount keeps increasing all the way to the end. During the last two fights there is plenty of blood.
The soundtrack to this movie is cool and it matches the detective theme and feel. The closing song is also pretty funny as well as the closing credits which are filled with outtakes.
If you can get past the slowness in the beginning and get over the fighting early on then this movie is quite entertaining.
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter was written by Ian Driscoll and directed by Lee Demarbre.